


They're Just Zombies People!

by ImNotGoodAtThis



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombies, Gen, Humor, Korra Doesn't Like Fanfiction Side Story, Parody, Zombie Apocalypse, Zombies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-22
Updated: 2014-11-22
Packaged: 2018-02-26 14:10:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2654906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImNotGoodAtThis/pseuds/ImNotGoodAtThis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Krew are trapped by Zombies inside the city, and the only thing standing between them and certain death is Korra's extensive knowledge of Zombie movies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stranded

"It's been two days."

"I know Bo."

"We're running out of food."

"I KNOW Bolin."

"Shit Mako. Bolin's right you know. We can't stay on this roof forever." Asami continued to wipe down the sword she found. They managed to barricade the door from those  _things,_ but now they were completely trapped. The sporting goods store they were holed up in was completely surrounded, if they tried to escape they would be overwhelmed.

"Alright I got a plan guys." Mako picked up his baseball bat. "There is a fire escape at the side of the building, but those things are blocking the alleyway. Grab anything you can find that makes a lot of noise. We're gonna lean over the edge and make as much noise as we can, that way we can lead them around the building away from the fire escape. Once we get them all to one side of the building, we make a run for the fire-"

"YO MAKO!"

"What the hell?" Mako leaned over the edge. "KORRA?!" She was standing across the street from them, sipping her coffee and waving at them.

"Yep. What are you guys doing up there? I haven't seen you in like 4 days!"

"Get off the street Korra!" The monsters were starting to take notice of her.

"What?"

"Get the hell off the street!"

"You know what? I can barely hear your ass, I'm coming up!" Korra charged her way through the horde and kicked down the front door to the store.

"Seriously, how the hell did she survive so long?"

"No idea Asami."

Korra opened the door and slammed it shut behind her. "Is it just me or have homeless people become really persistent lately?"

"Homeless people?!" Mako screamed. "THERE ARE MONSTERS OUT THERE!"

"Shit really?" She took another sip of her coffee. "Well that explains why I had to make my own macchiato at the Starbucks. I knew those homeless people looked way too hungry. I was just standing there going all 'What the hell? There is literally a soup kitchen two blocks from here.' and everything. So what's goin' on?"

"We don't know what happened," Bolin added. "But for some reason dead people are coming back to life."

"You mean zombies right?"

"What?"

"C'mon people, they're zombies. I don't know why you guys keep dancing around the word. They're fucking zombies."

Mako pinched the bridge of his nose. "Can we please stop talking about what to call those things-"

"Zombies."

"Whatever. We need to find a way to get out of here."

"Okay you guys get on that. I'm gonna finish my coffee."

"Are you kidding me right now? You're a part of this group now and you need to help us."

"Pssh, who made you leader? Last time I checked I was the main character."

"Well fine then! How are we gonna get out of this,  **Leader?** "

She finished her coffee and tossed the empty cup to the street below. "Well...as Leader of this zombie survival group, I understand that it is my responsibility to listen to the concerns of it's members. So this group will act as a democracy that considers the opinions and ideas of each member." She paused to make eye contact with all of them. "Except for cases when it is convenient for me to not listen to any of you. So the current plan of action is that I'm gonna let you guys brainstorm. If the plan you bozos come up with is stupid, I will immediately shut down your decision and go with my own plan that will most likely put all four of us in extreme danger, but will look really cool while we are doing it."

"You are absolutely useless."

"Guys look!" Bolin shouted. "It's a helicopter! WE'RE SAVED!"

"NO! For the love God, DO! NOT! SIGNAL! THAT! CHOPPER!"

"Why not?"

"IS A  **MAIN CHARACTER**  PILOTING THAT HELICOPTER?!" She grabbed Bolin by the shirt and started shaking him. "When was the last time you have EVER seen a helicopter pilot survive a zombie movie?! How about a helicopter pilot surviving a zombie game? Hell, when have you seen a helicopter pilot survive any game? NEVER THAT'S WHEN!" She was interrupted by a giant explosion down the street. She dropped Bolin and pointed to the remains of the gas station.

"See that giant fireball? That could have been us Bolin."

"How was I supposed to know that was gonna happen?"

"I swear it's like you guys have never seen a zombie movie before. Hey Asami, how are we doing on that escape plan."

"Well Mako suggested that we-"

"Oookay I'm gonna stop you right there. Asami, you and Bolin should know better than to listen to Mako. Have you guys considered using the front door?"

"We can't go through the front door. It's packed with those monsters."

"Zombies Mako! They're freaking zombies."

"Whatever. there are dozens of those things down there, we would never make it."

Korra rubbed her temples in frustration. "Okay...Mako, Bolin. I know this is going to sound crazy, but have you two considered  _ **Using your bending?"**_ **  
**

Both of them were speechless.

"Oh. Wow. You two are just...precious. And how long have you been stuck up here?"

"Two days." Mako mumbled.

"Really?!"

"...Yeah."

"...Really?"

"YES!"

"Damn Mako, you aren't very good at this are you? Now I can understand if Asami would have a hard time surviving the zombie horde but c'mon, look at her. She's got a bitchin' sword so you know she is ready to go all Michonne on their asses. But you two should know better." Korra stomped her foot and earth bent a staircase that led down to the street.

"Alright losers, we are gonna take the staircase down to street level and fight our way through the zombies. Then we are gonna head downtown to the Winchester, have a pint and wait for all of this to blow over."

"Shouldn't we try to find a secluded building and barricade ourselves, or try to escape the city?"

"Nope. Winchester. The only way I can deal with zombies and your stupidity Mako is if I'm drunk."

"I still think it's a bad plan."

"You know what Mako? All of your whining is making you sound like a jerk. And we all know what happens to jerks in zombie movies."

"Alright! I'll shut up. But wouldn't it be safer if we used the rooftops to get downtown instead?"

"He's got a point Korra. Going at street level seems kind of dangerous."

"Hell no. Remember what I said earlier. As group leader, I have the right to overrule any plans you guys come up with and use one of my own plans that will make us look awesome while fighting zombies. Watch this." Korra stomped her foot and sent a zombie flying into the side of a building.

"You are seriously telling me that you would rather take a boring walk on some rooftops instead of launching zombies, cutting them in half and setting them on fire?"

Bolin raised his hand. "Yeah, I'm gonna vote for launching zombies."

"You know what? I can totally go for slicing some zombies right now." Korra clapped Bolin and Asami on the shoulders.

"That's the spirit. Now LET'S DO THIS!"

"WOO!"

"FUCK YEAH!" They rushed down the stairs Korra created and left Mako on the rooftop.

"She is really trying to get us all killed, isn't she?" He rubbed his temples. "Screw this. I quit." He followed them down the stairs. If he was gonna die, he might as well die in a pub, because he sure as hell wasn't going to die on that rooftop.

Who knows, maybe they will survive all of this.


	2. Survivor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Krew finds another Survivor.

"Whew, what a workout!" Korra slammed the door behind her and blocked it with one of the store shelves. "I can really feel the burn."

"Workout?! We almost died out there! Why the hell did you stop using your bending anyway?!" Asami yelled.

"I dunno," She shrugged. "I just got bored of it, kind of like playing on easy mode. Good thing I found this cricket bat though. It's got a nice weight to it." She did a couple of swings to demonstrate.

"Well you may be having fun but I almost died!"

"Hey Mako saved you though, so we're good."

"That thing almost bit me!"

"You mean that zombie almost bit you. Why the hell is everyone afraid to say zombie around here?"

"Um guys," Bolin spoke up. "I don't mean to interrupt, but where's Mako?"

"Huh?"

"What?"

A brick came crashing through the window and Mako quickly dove through. He rolled across the floor and turned around to blast fire at the zombie crawling through the window after him. When the zombie crumbled into ashes he collapsed on his hands and knees to catch his breath.

"Mako! Are you okay?" Asami rubbed his back while he continued to wheeze on the floor.

"You guys... are real... **FUCKED UP**... YOU KNOW THAT?!"

"Sorry dude, we didn't know you fell behind."

"Didn't know? YOU DIDN'T FUCKING KNOW?! I WAS YELLING AFTER YOU GUYS WHEN WE GOT STRANDED ON TOP OF THAT BUS!"

"...That was you?"

"Who else could have been calling your name!"

"I don't know, practically everyone knows who I am in this city. Geez Mako, you need to calm down. It's not that big of a deal."

"Me dying's not a big deal to you?!"

"OKAY! I think everyone needs to calm down." Asami got between the teens. "Besides we gotta make plans for tonight and figure out how to regroup with our friends. I hope they're doing okay."

"What? Tenzin? Nah they're gonna be fine. They live on an island. Perfectly safe. Unless they have Dead Island zombies over there...that would be kind of bad."

"What?"

"Zombies in bikinis pretty much. Alright here's the plan. Asami you keep watch. Any zombies come in you take them out. Mako, I'm putting you in charge of making a barricade to keep those things out. Bolin you gather anything you can find and get a fire started. And I'm going to go scavenge for parts, see if we can fix up one of those satomobiles outside."

Mako raised his hand. "Okay. I'm sorry. I really tried to let you do this whole leadership thing Korra but you literally picked the worst jobs for everyone." Korra narrowed her eyes at him.

"Are you questioning my leadership Mako?"

"I'm questioning your intelligence. You don't know shit about satomobiles so Asami's in charge of fixing up a ride. I'm the fire bender so I'll get a fire going. Bolin's the earth bender so he will bend some rock over the entrances. That way we won't have to worry about those things getting through."

"Yeah I kind of like your idea better bro."

"Mako's got a pretty good plan Korra."

"Well screw all of you. Don't forget the person who got you stranded on a damn rooftop. And don't forget who saved you. I'm leaving."

"What are you doing Korra?"

"STUFF MAKO! And-and things!"

"Fine go then! We all know nothing's going to stop you."

Without another word Korra leaped through the broken window and bent a slab of rock to block the zombies.

"That girl is going to get us all killed."

* * *

Korra didn't return until two hours later.

With Starbucks.

"Really Korra?! You left to get Starbucks?"

"Hey I don't fuck around with pumpkin spice lattes. Sorry I didn't get you guys any. You know how hard zombies are to fight. Especially with one hand."

Mako pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Did you accomplish 'anything' useful on this little field trip Korra?"

"Yeah, I found this sweet crossbow." she unstrapped it from her back and set it down on the store counter. She set the bolts right next to it. "Can you believe some dude just left it sitting on the back of a motorcycle?"

Korra I'm sure what you found is really interesting but we have a problem here." Asami walked over and looked at both of them. "That guy's getting worse."

"What guy?"

"Shit, this is bad."

"Seriously, what guy?"

"No matter what I do the bleeding won't stop."

"HEY! Who the fuck are you guys talking about?" Asami jumped in surprise.

"Oh right, you don't know Korra. We found another survivor while you were gone. His name's Marvin."

"OH HELL NO! Who said anything about letting in survivors?!" You never, EVER take in new survivors!"

"We couldn't just leave him out there."

"YES WE CAN MAKO! Did he at least kill a zombie in a really cool way when you found him."

"Why does that even matter?"

"Because that's how you can tell if he's an important character. I just can't work with you people. So how did you find him?"

"He was trapped in a police car surrounded by those monsters."

"ZOMBIES! THEY'RE FUCKING ZOMBIES!"

"Um guys..."

"Not now Bolin! Since none of you have ever seen a zombie movie before, I'm going to tell you EXACTLY what's going to happen."

"Korra? I don't think he's-"

"FIRST THING! That guy was definitely bitten before you found him."

"He's not mov-" Korra cut him off again.

"SECOND THING!" She pointed to Marvin. "That man over there is going to die."

"He stopped breathing everyone!"

"THIRD THING! All of you are going to be super sad you could not save this poor bastard and will predictably let down your guard."

"Guys? I think he's dead! What do we do now?!" Bolin gently shook the man to see if he would wake up. Asami bent down to help him.

"AND FINALLY! IN A TWIST THAT SURPRISES ABSOLUTELY NO ONE-"

"AAAAAHHHHH!" Marvin came to life and tried to bite Bolin's face.

"BOLIN!"

"QUICK GRAB HIM!"

"HELP MEEEE!"

"-That... is going to happen." Korra finished.

Mako managed to get the zombie in a headlock and struggled to keep his hands away from Marvin's mouth. "I COULD USE A LITTLE HELP HERE!"

"I CANT! I MIGHT STAB YOU!" Asami held up her sword but couldn't get a good angle on him.

"KORRA! HELP?!" He shrieked.

"Hold on... How the hell do you load this thing..."

"KORRA! WHAT THE FU-" Mako had the wind knocked out of him when they were pushed backwards into some shelves. The bolt struck Marvin in the left eye, came out the back of his head and nearly impaled Mako in the process. He pushed the zombie off of him and scrambled to his feet to stand next to Asami.

"What did you learn?" Korra lowered her crossbow.

"That... we should listen to you more often?"

"Yeeeaaah what she said." Bolin added.

"Thats right my children. Listen to your  **Leader**  and we'll make it out alive." She strapped the crossbow to her back. And walked past them to examine the body.

"Oh man..." Korra bent over and pulled the bolt out of his eye socket. "I shot Marvin in the face..." She started laughing.

"What the hell could possibly be so funny?"

"Pulp Fiction reference."


End file.
